I am a Roman-Catholic born and raised in faith in Poland during the times of socialism.
God blessed me with a beautiful devout family; both my parents and grandparents taught me Catholic faith and charity to the neighbor, and they cultivated our strong commitment to Jesus Christ and Mary both in good and challenging times.

The witness and example of St. John Paul II and Bl. Cardinal Stefan Wyszynski are deeply engraved in my memory; they shaped my faith journey as a child and teenager. Also, St. Faustina Kowalska has been a very close saint to me. I can still remember kneeling and praying as an early-age teenager in the Chapel of the miraculous image of the Merciful Jesus in Krakow, even before St. Faustina was beatified, and in the later years also. The Divine Mercy message has been an important devotion of my life.

Since I can recall, I have always desired to be a teacher and to travel around the world when I grow up. It took years of sacrificial education, and great perseverance and persistence, while giving up pleasures and fun of childhood and teenage years. In His Goodness, God granted the desires of my heart. He was showering me with blessings along my educational path, which was covered with sweat and hard work until the early morning hours. He was always rewarding me for my dedication and striving for my goal – to become a professor one day. He took me to renowned universities around the world allowing me to learn from the bright minds of professors who went ahead of me. But when I had reached everything that I desired (and was granted tenure as a university professor at University of Oklahoma), the Lord gave me yet another gift, but this time it was a gift of a different kind ...

In 2020, I got consecrated as a Consecrated Virgin in the Catholic Church of the Archdiocese of Oklahoma City and became a bride of Christ. I thought this would be the happy end of my professional journey (it was my passion to work as an academic, advise and mentor students and serve at the university, college, and department level), and the happiest end of my personal journey (I became espoused to Jesus! – my God and my Lord). I envisioned to work and live a dedicated life of a consecrated virgin serving as a professional at the university and as a committed Catholic in the Church. But the Lord had a different plan as He called me to step out on deep waters and follow Him to join a Carmelite religious community of nuns in MN. This meant forsaking everything I have achieved in my life and what I have been striving for since my childhood. The Lord’s call was stronger though and I could only follow my Bridegroom wherever He was going and taking me with Him. It was only through God’s grace alone that, without hesitation or questioning, I was able to quit my permanent full-time university job as a professor, sell my possessions, and give away almost everything I had to make a next step into a big uncertainty on the vast unknown waters. Nothing mattered because I was holding tight to Jesus’ Hand trusting Him with all my life; I knew I’m always safe and secure with Him even when it doesn’t make sense to human reasoning. I felt like the young man in the Scripture to whom Jesus said: “If you wish to be perfect, go, sell your possessions, and give the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; then come, follow me.” /Matt 19:21/

Shredding teaching materials, courses I developed from scratch, and papers of my entire professor career was very painful; tears were falling at times as I felt I was being stripped of everything that made me who I was as a professional. At the same time, I profoundly sensed I was becoming detached from earthly things that were holding me bound and occupied with temporal matters of this world. It was about time to become attached to Jesus alone and, with His grace, I was ready to give back to Him the gifts and skills He granted me, and all the fruits of my past work. I was thinking about all my former advisee students who were, by now, for the most part, dispersed around the country and the world working in different professions. I was remembering all the teachings I was always instilling in them, to be a good person and an example to others in the world, on top of being an honest, solid, and reliable professional in their careers. I was offering back to Jesus all He gave me, to possess Him alone (a beautiful exchange of His gifts for the Giver Himself).

When moving to the religious community, I thought, I’m leaving the world behind for good. My commitment was firm, and it was my desire as well. Yet, God had different plans still. After 1.5 years in novitiate, God brought me back to Oklahoma. I returned with a different goal and purpose for my life. In this new stage of life, I’m embarking on right now, the Lord doesn’t call me to go back to the secular world, large classrooms and audiences anymore, but to small places and people who go unnoticed to the big world. He desires me to serve Him, His Church, and people around in silent and small ways (following the little way of St. Thérèse of Lisieux); walking the path of simplicity, self-denial, renunciation of worldly pleasures, yet at the same time a path of joy, peace, and love of God and the neighbor.

It is the greatest honor and privilege to be a bride of Christ. It is also a great responsibility for I am both a child of God the Father and a spouse of God’s Son. My mission is to represent Them worthily, so that the Love between the Father and the Son (the Love of the Holy Spirit) can be manifested in me, in my daily life, my work, prayers, sacrifices, and service to the Church. As a bride of Christ, united with Mary, the Most Holy Mother of God, I pray in a special way for the Holy Bride of Christ – the Church, priests and religious, souls in purgatory, repentance of sinners, salvation of souls, and all the needs of the world.

Throughout the journey of my life the Lord has been teaching me to trust Him without reserve and unconditionally. To trust Jesus perfectly is challenging and an ongoing process. Sometimes, amidst the uncertainties of life, it feels like walking on deep unknown waters or like jumping of the plane without a parachute knowing that the Lord will catch me at some point, be it only one inch above the ground. During this ‘free fall’ I only keep renewing my trust in the Lord and He does wondrous works that can’t be accomplished by human power. He teaches me to live here and now in the present moment with God, not in the past and not in the future.

My entire life has been a beautiful (even though tough) journey of faith and trust, relying on the Divine Providence and the merciful Hand of God who always comes through and never fails. It doesn’t matter what difficulties, challenges, pains, sufferings, and persecutions come along, the Lord is always at my side, and this is more than enough.

I feel I’m the happiest person in the world, each day is the happiest day of my life, and every moment is the happiest moment of the day because each moment is God Himself. He is my Joy and Happiness and the sole purpose of my life. Only knowing that God IS (the Great “I AM”) and will never cease to be, and that He holds everything in His Hands and under control, is the greatest consolation ever. And knowing in addition that He loves me (and all of us – His children) with love beyond any human comprehension is a double consolation which keeps me happy every moment and every day.

Sometimes I get saddened together with Jesus about people who prefer the fleeting things of the world to the everlasting God. There is no greater love, consolation, satisfaction, and wholeness to our body, mind, and soul than Jesus Christ Himself – the only Truth, the only Life, and the only Way to our heavenly Home. To Him be glory and honor, praise, and thanksgiving now and forever!

For all the blessings God granted me, I will exclaim the goodness of the Lord and every day I will proclaim: JESUS, I TRUST IN YOU!
Mary, pray for us! St. Joseph, intercede for us!
Jad Z.